Wow is all I can say.... today I am really feeling the hormones... explaines the gain, and to be honest I feel pretty heavy right now... uuugh... ya not a good feeling.. I hate this time of the month. Feeling really down on myself... came home and ate a peanut butter sandwitch... without honey or jam or peanut butter... geez... crazy because i have never cared much for them... i dont know.. have been craving sugar the last few days too.
Trying to quit smoking has been a fruitless battle this week as well. I made it all day today until about 5 pm or so and then just broke down in tears and bought a pack of smokes... I think i have been putting too much pressure on myself to do too many things and losing sight of the perspective. I have been trying not to drink as well so in the last week and a half only had one beer when out with friends for mexican food. Right now I just want to drink a whole bottle of wine and soak in the tub. Wish I felt more positive... will check in later.. by the way i did loose a half a pound from yesterday to today so even though i am up about a pound not too worried about it. Hope you are all doing good
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
P4 155.8
Totally happy with the weight at this point and I think the biggest key for me is that through this process I have learned to modify my eating and intake and have found myself really not craving food etc as I used to. I think my perspective has changed from one of using food for gratification to one of necessity.There have been a few days where I have found myself hungry and needing to eat but doing it out of necessity rather than a need or desire for any specific thing. Its almost like I can take it or leave it so to speak in regard to making food choices. I am not perfect with this by any means though and have to admit last monday i ate not one but two ice cream bars... but the funny thing though is that I used to be a sugar addict big time and a major carb lover. Now its just moderation and other than the ice cream bars last week really have avoided refined sugars etc.
Im learing with the weight, emotions, life experiences etc that it is all about balance. I am trying to find that balance in my life and searching for the place where I am healthy internally and externally. I am not sure if I mentioned that I have started meditating which I have to admit has really helped a tremendous amount! It is a fantastic way to find your center and place of peace. Has helped me alot! I am thinking I need to start some kind of excercise or physical activity and have heard that pilates is a great way to tone and tighten. Have any of you tried it? Would reccomend it etc? Also, wondering if this is the case are there any video's that would be worthwile or would this be something best done in a classroom/gym setting?
Im learing with the weight, emotions, life experiences etc that it is all about balance. I am trying to find that balance in my life and searching for the place where I am healthy internally and externally. I am not sure if I mentioned that I have started meditating which I have to admit has really helped a tremendous amount! It is a fantastic way to find your center and place of peace. Has helped me alot! I am thinking I need to start some kind of excercise or physical activity and have heard that pilates is a great way to tone and tighten. Have any of you tried it? Would reccomend it etc? Also, wondering if this is the case are there any video's that would be worthwile or would this be something best done in a classroom/gym setting?
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
P4 156.6
Hi Everyone... wow what a week it has been for sure... Both the best and the worst!! I have been maintaining so far with even some loss fluctuations. Most likely need to eat more. I am so happy though to be able to notice everyday how great it feels to be thinner again.. not where I am working towards yet however I have to mention that every single pair of pants that I have are now pretty loose on me. Which is a wonderful , wonderful feeling... I was a 14-16 before and had a few pairs of pants that were around a 13. Now I am guessing probbably I am a 12 or so. Whohoo!! Feels soooo good!!
So on the brighter side I read a book today that I really really would reccomend and loved. It is by Eckhart Tole (sp?) It is titled practicing the power of now. Incredibly insightfull book and I just devoured it!! It was exactly the right thing at the right time in my life in order to accept and heal from the past and to give up my anxiety about the future and find the peace and harmony and love that is within myself now!! Truly I am at a crossroads in my life at this point in the journey and deciding to make changes internally as well as externally as well as behaviour modifications.. ie- not drinking so much and also working on quitting smoking! I have realized and thought for some time now that is not ulitmately where I want to be. The funny thing too is Mr Chemestry had said to me a couple of times that those behaviours just didn't fit with who I am. When I heard it in that manner it made total sense and my subconcious had been thinking the same for a while.
Well on to the acceptance part! After a whirlwind month long romance that was spectacularly amazing to the utmost degree, we have decided to be friends rather than the other. I have been struggling with that the last few days and for the first time today have realized that I can accept that and that resisting that or feeling loss/ pain is only going to keep me in the place that I wont be open or able to move on to the next jorney. Well hope everyone is doing fantastic!! Love to all!
So on the brighter side I read a book today that I really really would reccomend and loved. It is by Eckhart Tole (sp?) It is titled practicing the power of now. Incredibly insightfull book and I just devoured it!! It was exactly the right thing at the right time in my life in order to accept and heal from the past and to give up my anxiety about the future and find the peace and harmony and love that is within myself now!! Truly I am at a crossroads in my life at this point in the journey and deciding to make changes internally as well as externally as well as behaviour modifications.. ie- not drinking so much and also working on quitting smoking! I have realized and thought for some time now that is not ulitmately where I want to be. The funny thing too is Mr Chemestry had said to me a couple of times that those behaviours just didn't fit with who I am. When I heard it in that manner it made total sense and my subconcious had been thinking the same for a while.
Well on to the acceptance part! After a whirlwind month long romance that was spectacularly amazing to the utmost degree, we have decided to be friends rather than the other. I have been struggling with that the last few days and for the first time today have realized that I can accept that and that resisting that or feeling loss/ pain is only going to keep me in the place that I wont be open or able to move on to the next jorney. Well hope everyone is doing fantastic!! Love to all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)